Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Brains and Beauty Girls Club: Shaping Unruly Girls into Responsible, Self-Respecting Young Ladies

Kofo Odediran knows something about self-loathing.  In high school, she had no friends, no self-esteem. “I felt like the bottom of one shoe,” she said, and attempted suicide more than once. Now a vivacious, self-assured 37-year-old, she vividly remembers the pain she felt as a teen.  It is this memory that fuels her passion: empowering young girls to deal with the peer pressure, social challenges and educational stressors almost every child and adolescent face.  Her vehicle is the Brains and Beauty Girls Club (B. a. B.), an after-school organization for elementary, middle and high school girls that fosters good grades, nurtures good moral character, emphasizes inward and outward beauty, and works to create well-rounded, well-behaved young ladies.

Indeed, the club is transformative. At the outset the girls are giggly, immature and insecure. They commonly act out, get into fights, disrupt their classes, cause a ruckus in the cafeteria. Well before year’s end, however, they grow into disciplined, responsible, self-respecting young ladies.

This was boldly apparent at Biscayne Gardens Elementary School one Wednesday afternoon in April.  As the third, fourth and fifth graders meandered in for their weekly meeting, each said, “Good afternoon, Ms. K.”  The girls chatted until Ms. K was ready to begin.  The instant she called the group to order, they were silent.  They watched her intently as she explained the day’s activity: crafting a business plan for an imaginary company. Hands flew up to answer the questions she posed. When the girls momentarily lost focus, Ms. K instantaneously brought them back with a well-practiced two-line chant that she began and they completed in perfect unison.
Biscayne Gardens Elementary School students explain "Dynamic Divas," the dance studio they are planning

For the day’s project, Ms. K divided the girls into groups of three or four, gave each a list of questions to answer and points to consider.  And when it came time for each group to present their plans, they stood at the head of the room and spoke clearly with poise and self-control.

Every aspect of the B. a. B experience and everything that Ms. K does is designed to achieve these results.  It begins with the application process, which includes an essay on why each girl wants to belong and, for the high school girls, an interview. It continues with the rules and regulations, which spell out expectations for behavior and academic performance. Parents, who must sign the application, and students, who must sign the rules and regulations, know their membership is threatened if they get any D’s or F’s in coursework or conduct or if they engage in fighting, foul language, vandalism, skipping class, bullying, or disrespectful behavior toward adults.

The message is clear: This is an exclusive club. Belonging is a privilege and an honor.  Attendance at meetings is required. Standards are high.  

From the moment the girls join, they experience Ms. K’s specific demands.  They must wear their uniforms to B. a. B. meetings: for elementary and middle school girls a navy skirt, white short-sleeved blouse, black socks, purple scarf and purple hair ribbon, all supplied at the beginning of the school year. High school girls swap stockings for socks, a pencil skirt for the full skirt, and a neck tie for the scarf.  Everyone also has a purple B. a. B. polo shirt, which they wear on Fridays (or another day of the club’s choosing) and for B. a. B. outings

“The uniform teaches responsibility.  They are responsible for all the pieces of the uniform and for wearing it correctly. Why isn’t your shirt tucked in?  Why isn’t your scarf tied?  Where is your hair ribbon?” said Ms. K.  And, she added, they’re not allowed to wear pants.

“The way you sit in a skirt and the way you carry yourself in a skirt is quite different than when you’re in pants. The days they dress up and feel pretty, it makes you feel good about yourself and you carry yourself differently, you feel different.  Just knowing there are different attires for different occasions. We try to teach something with everything we do.”

The girls, who see the uniforms as a symbol of status, wear them with pride.  One third grader spoke for many when she said, “It’s hot and itchy but it makes you look pretty. I like it.”

With the uniform, the girls also get a purple bag containing a mirror and a hygiene kit including a bar of soap, a wash cloth and deodorant. They are told to keep this kit in their book bags for an emergency “so that throughout the day you keep up with your appearance, you keep up with yourself,” said Ms. K, who takes the opportunity to teach her girls what many should but do not learn at home.

“A lot of our parents are working parents. A lot of our parents don’t have time. A lot of our parents are young parents, and they just don’t have the time to teach those basics. So here’s a program that takes us back to the basics. We sit at the table properly. We walk, we don’t drag our feet, we address people accordingly, things like that,” she added.

Appearance and behavior that are honed in the club are expected and reinforced throughout the day.  Teachers, security guards, cafeteria workers, even custodians stop a girl behaving inappropriately and admonish, “Aren’t you in B. a. B.?  Isn’t that bad behavior?”   As everyone in the school networks together to reinforce the message of the club, the girls see a consistency to the expectations, and over time complaints about their behavior diminish.

Good behavior gets a boost from the girls’ growing self-esteem and self-confidence. Recognizing their beauty inside and out is a major focus. Every meeting begins and ends with chants that reinforce a strong sense of self:

When I look in the mirror what do I see
Someone special, me.

Building self-appreciation was the purpose of the Valentine’s Day program, when the girls anonymously wrote down what they liked about each other.  Later the girls read aloud the nice things that had been said about them and celebrated their good feelings with Valentine’s treats.

Strengthening self-confidence is the intent behind the club’s big sister, little sister concept. Everyone in elementary school, middle school and high school is paired with an older member of her club.  When an elementary school student gets to the middle school, there is at least one older person whom she knows. The same goes for the middle schooler moving up to high school.  Knowing this one person helps her feel secure and important in a large, foreign-feeling place. This year, when all the clubs got together for occasional field trips, elementary school students also got a big sister in high school and had the opportunity to hang out with her.  
 
Processional for the Middle and high school students entering the Presentation Luncheon.  This is the culmination of the club's year, where each group showcases an original song, poem or dance.   iddle and high school members enter the event.
Enhancing the students’ education is also central to the club.  Each week, the meeting focuses on a specific subject: the environment, money management, bullying and cyberbullying, abstinence and age-appropriate sex education, giving back, and more. Ms. K emphasizes sharp, critical thinking.  When a student offering an opinion or answering a question is not clear, Ms. K challenges the statement forcing the student to explain, clarify or admit she doesn’t know.   Ms. K also puts a premium on classroom performance. Students know that if their grades are poor they will be placed on 4-week probation, during which they must still come to meetings but cannot participate in field trips or other special events.  Ms. K reviews every student’s progress reports, meets with parents as needed, tries to find tutors for those who would benefit. At present, she is seeking funding specifically to underwrite tutoring.

All of this consistent effort produces enormous growth in the girls at every level. Shy girls, loners, and those with low self-esteem find a place to fit in.  Having “sisters,” being in a group where they belong, feeling included all help the girls to improve.   Although this growth is a work in progress – uniform blouses are sometimes rumpled; being rude to teachers is a perennial problem at every level --  growth is palpable.  In elementary school, giggly, immature behavior gives way to an affect of calm and discipline.  In middle school, improvement in hygiene is significant; also noticeably better are behavior and self-confidence.  In high school, the girls learn to keep a surly attitude in check, to show deference to their teachers and other adults, and to stay on track academically.


B. a. B. began four years ago with 40 eighth graders. This year they are high school seniors.  Although all did not remain in the club throughout, all are graduating.  One of the girls had a baby and is working but still managed to graduate on time.  And all are going to college. 

B. a. B. is a project of Communities in Schools, an organization that brings community resources into public schools.  Ms. K launched the after-school club at JFK Middle School in 2011. With the support of Communities in Schools, a second group leader placed the club in Miami Senior High School in 2012. Today, with the addition of two volunteer group leaders, six schools participate, each with 25-40 girls meeting for one hour once a week throughout the school year. The program operates in two elementary, two middle and two high schools in some of the poorest sections of Miami. 
 
B. a. B. girls from Biscayne Gardens Elementary perform "Say Yes" at the Presentation Luncheon May 29, 2015
The club runs on a shoestring budget.  Salaries of the two paid group leaders are underwritten by Community in Schools.  In addition, a $5,000 grant from the Women’s Fund of Miami Dade covers snacks, field trip expenses, and cost of the end-of-year Presentation Luncheon.  Supplies for weekly meetings and incidentals are provided by the participating schools, by Communities in Schools and by parents and Ms. K herself.  Students are asked to pay $40 for their uniforms, and scholarships subsidize those who cannot afford it.  Each student also pays $1.00 at each meeting, in part as a gesture of commitment, in part to help pay for on-site activities such as birthday celebrations.

Brains and Beauty Girls Club
786-344-3237

No comments:

Post a Comment